This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
