tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
