Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
