i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
