hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
