you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
