just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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