It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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