Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
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He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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