Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am one with the molecules
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
