Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
