my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
