yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
