I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
