but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.