I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
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But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
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Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...