I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
