I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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