apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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