I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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