he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
