I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
