I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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