you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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