Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
