As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
