HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
