I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
