I love black thongs
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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