New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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