I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
