**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
