mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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