He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
