Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
