one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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