Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
