I wish I could teleport
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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