i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
