I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The adults are the big ones right?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
