She said her name was "party"
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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