ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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