why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
