i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
