i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
