According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
