For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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