i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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