I hate all girls vehemently.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This baby is an asshole
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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