So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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