She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
