do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
