There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
