how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
