Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
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i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
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I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize