i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
