I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
