HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
