What a fucking waste of an outfit
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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