You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
