I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
it glows. i had to have it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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