She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
