and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
